This is my first vacation since starting WW in June. It's a week of unstructured time before me. How delicious! I am delirious with plans and projects, so I'm not worried that abandoning my humdrum routine will throw me off program. In the past when I've not had enough to occupy myself, I would eat my way through the hours. Handfuls of M&M's as I paged through O mag. or a tidy pile of Dove chocolates as I surfed. Even vacuuming the floors called for an ice cream snickers.
What makes this stay-cation so different? Therapy.
I have been seeing a counselor (LCSW) since Dec. Best Move Ever!! Eileen is an excellent listener and really helps me see how ridiculous some of my thought processes are, in the nicest possible way! Just examining my reaction to events and interactions has helped me to feel better. (Is it going to ruin his week if I pick a restaurant For Once instead of saying, "wherever you wanna go"? Is the piss-poor service or the tiny buffalo wings my fault, really?) Dumb, but those are a couple of my shadow beliefs.
In fact, if I hadn't gotten help, I'm sure I would not be in WW today. Even in January, the very Thought of going back to WW and the agony of counting points and obsessing about food I could not eat was just too exhausting. Not to mention the torture of getting into sweats and strolling the mall. I wanted to lose weight, but didn't feel it was worth the effort. I wasn't worth it.
No self-esteem=no weight loss.
By slowly learning that I am within the bell curve of normal, or at least can learn new ways to think like a normal person, I have begun to build some self-confidence. Some backbone, even. (oh MY!)
And the odd part is, I've never discussed weight loss in therapy. It's just a marvelously unexpected side effect.
3 comments:
Great blog...and good to you on your journey! Have fun on your "stay-cation" ;)
I'm so glad you found a great counselor. I wish I would have had the same success. Mine was...well I have way too many negative words to describe her. And you know what they say - if you don't have anything positive to say then don't say anything at all. Well, I guess I have nothing to say! LOL
And hunny, your thoughts are completely normal! Either that or you and I are both crazy! LOL I've had some of the same thoughts concerning choosing a restaurant, the wing issue and poor service.
I really enjoy you blog and look forward to following it. Take care.
I am so proud of you for the steps you have taken to become a better more healthy person! Eileen has really been a godsend and I am thankful that you found her! You mean the world to me and I want nothing but good things for you because you deserve them!
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